


Good To You

by logiewankenobi



Series: More Than Brains and Smiles [1]
Category: Big Time Rush
Genre: Cutting, Depression, M/M, Suicide Attempt, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-28
Updated: 2013-01-28
Packaged: 2017-11-27 06:19:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/658870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/logiewankenobi/pseuds/logiewankenobi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Logan can't take it anymore. No one really wants him around.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Good To You

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this after having a talk with my parents and then best friend. We always have fights bout who has it worse and whose more depressed and en up feeling sorry for each other an just happy to have the other around.  
> Anyways, this was just something I wrotr after we calmed down and said we basically only live because the other and it was random peole but it turned into Cargan and I blame the fact that she's the Carlos to my Logan. She's crazy and funny and just damn loveable and I'm always correcting her but also like 200% dumb most of the time.

He didn't know how it happened. He just knew he couldn't take it anymore. He wouldn't ever be good enough. He was only wanted when someone could use him. Then he was tossed away and ignored. He was only used for one or two good things.  
Not like he cared. Not anymore anyways.  
He sighed as he sat with his back against the wall, watching the blood spill down his wrists, the razor he had used lying at his feet. He was pretty sure he had made the cuts exact. He knew about these things. He was pretty sure he could kill himself successfully.  
He smirked a bit, okay, he was good at three things.  
He closed his eyes as he thought of the irony.  
He was so lost in the darkness he could feel coming and the poor poeticness of it all that he barely heard the door open.  
He heard his name called and barely looked up to see who it was. He didn't get to see the face, see who acted like they were so worried about him. The darkness swallowed him up.  
He had dreams that were swirls of colors and odd noises and calls of his name. He tried to answer the calls but his voice wouldn't work. His lips were chapped and his throat was raw and dry, tongue felt swollen in his mouth.  
He didn't know how long had passed but when he awoke it was to a steady beeping noise accompanied by someone snoring.  
He blinked as he opened his eyes, bright lights blinding him. He could smell clean and sickness in every breath he took.  
He was breathing.  
He sat up quickly and looked around wildly.  
He was in a white room, almost empty, an EKG machine beeping and a chair with someone sitting in it, sleeping.  
His eyes stopped as he stared, remembering someone walking in and calling his name, grabbing him and holding him.  
He blinked, shocked. He reached up and rubbed his eyes. His hands cane bak wet with tears. He stared at his hand as the bosy in the chair moved and sat up.  
"Logan!"  
He straightened up and looked over. He barely registered the bandages on his wrists and the inner com going off in the hall or the beeping.  
"...why did you do it?"  
Carlos frowned,"I should be asking you that..."  
He looked down and clutched the blanket,"I'm no good...I can't do much...everyone only wants me around when they want something...no one actually wants me here.."  
"Thats a lie!"  
He looked up at the harshness in the Latino's voice,"Carlos..."  
"I want you around all the time! You're more special then you think! If I don't understand something I can go to you. You're always willing to help and listen to me. When I do something stupid you accept it and when you make fun of me you don't actually mean it. You think no one sees you but I do. Isee the way you hide behind a book, when you have an idea and won't stop till it's complete. When you aren't good at anything you practice till you get it and don't change who you are for others. You're smart and talented and don't gove yourself much credit and I wish you would just see it!"  
Logan was shocked as he saw tears fall down his cheeks. He hadn't thought anyone paid attention.  
"And I know this isn't the first time. You all don't think I pay attention to things but I do."  
And maybe he needed to pay attention as well. He reached forward and grabbed Carlos's hand. He watched Carlos' eyes stare at the bulky white bandage. Logan was stupid and an idiot.  
"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to upset you..,I didn't think anyone would care..."  
He was surprised when the small Latino flung himself st him and hugge him tightly. Logan smiled sadly and hugged him back. It felt and complete and everything he wanted.  
He pulled Carlos into the bed and the Latino yelped in surprise.  
"I woke you up from your nap..."  
Carlos stared at him a moment before he curled up against him and smiled a bit. Logan wrapped his arms around him, the bandages running against Carlos's back. They settled together.  
"I'll be here when you wake up..."  
Carlos nuzzled into his neck,"Good..." He closed his eyes and Logan sighed. Sometimes you had to have your eyes open.


End file.
